Overcoming challenging feelings during Ramadan

Many of my Muslim family, friends & colleagues will be fasting. I believe the connection between our body, mind and spirit is so important, and that’s what the Ramadan fast is all about. This year, because we’re staying at home in lockdown, fasting is likely to bring on even more challenging feelings during Ramadan than usual.

Because one of the joys of the holy month is about being together with family, it’s going to feel very different this year. Therefore, it’s more necessary than ever for our mental and physical health to make sure we overcome the challenges of fasting and focus on the positives.

Accept those challenging feelings during Ramadan

Today I want to share some of the struggles and challenging feelings you may face this month and some ways to overcome them. Feel free to share this article with your friends & family or those that you think may find this helpful!

Settling into Ramadan - These first few days can bring up a whole host of challenging and difficult feelings: stress, frustration, anger, not least hunger and thirst. Remember that your body is going through an adjustment period. The key here is to really take care of yourself. Allow yourself to rest, get in tune with what your body needs, and listen to what your mind needs too.
Keeping busy doing necessary tasks is really helpful. We can try focusing on how we can give back to our community or do some things we may have been putting off. If that’s too active, then we can just allow ourselves to be fully in the moment so we can recognise whatever is coming up - just let the positive energy of that focused breath flow in, through and out again.
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Losing your temper - We know we should feel peaceful, but friends have reported they lose their temper more quickly. Agitation, in different degrees, is a challenging emotion experienced during Ramadan, but it can be overcome. It’s usually caused by fluctuating blood sugar levels resulting from lack of food or dehydration, so it will pass. Until you can eat and drink again, let focused breath guide you out of this negative emotion.
Ramadan is a time to reflect on how we treat others, how we behave and respond. It’s a time to find and make peace. Yet, because we’re human and far from perfect, forgoing physical needs is a central challenge during the Ramadan hours of fasting.
- Why not try some focused meditation?
Smoking - Whether it’s cigarettes or shisha, both are forbidden during the hours of fasting. So for tobacco users, going nicotine free during daylight hours is an added physical challenge over and above just breaking the instinctive habit of picking up and lighting a cigarette.
Overcoming this challenging feeling takes self-awareness. It’s even an opportunity to reconsider the habit. No one needs to be told that cigarettes are unhealthy, we all know that. So now is a good time to think about why you feel the need to smoke (outside of the nicotine being in your system). When do you light up a cigarette? is it when you feel bored or angry? Or is it to be social? Try reflecting on ways to break the habit for good.
Exercise - For many exercise often comes off the schedule for a month, which is understandable as our routines change so much. Yet it doesn’t have to. it’s really important to listen to what our body needs.
If we’re healthy, and if we’re eating & drinking mindfully during non-fasting hours, fitting some kind of enjoyable exercise into our routine is a great idea. Any form of movement, even gentle stretching, is great for our focus and mood. It rewards us with a boost of feel-good endorphins. And, of course, helps keep us fit and healthy.
Getting intimate - It can be frustrating waiting to be intimate with your partner during Ramadan days, especially for newly-wed couples (I’ve heard this from a few friends!). While this is a beautiful problem to have, supressing desire can also bring challenging feelings of agitation and impatience. So instead of focusing on the frustration, focus on gratitude. Be thankful for having such a strong relationship, such an immense love.
Whoever we’re living with during lockdown, we need to try to express our thoughtfulness to them. Could we offer to help with something? Go on a gentle walk together? Buy a gift to share? If you’re lucky enough to be with a special partner, use the time to become mentally closer. Why not talk about all the things you can achieve as a couple? Together, the hours will soon pass.
Over eating - I often spend time working in Dubai, so I’ve experienced the grand banquets and buffets offered at ifthar. I know it’s hard not to over eat. This year, as we stay at home around the world to limit the spread of coronavirus, there won’t be the communal gatherings we’re used to. But there will still be family gatherings within many homes.
The challenge is to choose nourishing food. Too much salt and fat can cause dehydration and then the fasting hours feel much more difficult. There’s a lot of advice online about how to eat well during Ramadan so I won’t repeat it, but you can find more here. In short, I suggest focusing on good nutrition. Plan meals that will make you feel good physically and emotionally. Focus on meals as a time to be with those you love and care about, even if it’s only on Zoom this year. Feel gratitude, and remember you can eat tomorrow too.
Sleep - Flipping routine is something that many people do to cope with hours of fasting - sleeping during the day and staying up all night. For many of us this year, as we’re in lockdown, we’re already struggling to adjust our routines. As the stay at home order turns from a short jog to a marathon, we may already be worried about money, struggling with home-schooling, juggling working from home, or simply missing our normal lives. Now, on top of that, we may experience even more challenging feelings during Ramadan as our routines change even more.
Yet we know messing with our body clock affects our emotions. So if our waking hours are upside down, it may cause negative feelings to surface. Be prepared to feel moody, tired and easily irritated. Be thoughtful of people around you who may also be struggling with similar emotions. If we can keep to routine as best we can it helps concentration, time passes more quickly, and it benefits our physical and mental wellbeing too.
Performance - It can be very hard to find the same energy level during Ramadan, particularly during the first few days (this is why following healthy eating guidelines is key, and so is hydration). Eating badly will result in you not feeling as well as you would if you eat and drink the right foods and liquids.
Self-discipline is key, but at the same time, cut yourself some slack this year. Everyone is having to adapt to change. If you’re working, your concentration will falter, so it’s best to accept that. Schedule regular breaks, say every 40 minutes or on the hour. Take time to stretch your legs, take a gentle walk, look out the window, or have a quick conversation. Then get back to whatever you were doing with more sense of purpose.